Alrighty Nao, let’s see what we’ve got here…
First of all, I’d like you to rename this thread to match the name of your character. It would help you(and other people) to find it later on the forum. *nods*
Appearance is missing a few things. We don’t know how tall your character is, nor how he usually stands (general posture), or even his body build. Though I’ve seen a bit that might explain the build, just not in this section. I’ll get to that in a sec.
When he knows he is going to be fighting, he dons a tunic of Dresall skin and an ordained skull as a helmet,
I’m not too sure I understand this bit here. I get a feeling that you may have used the word “ordained” oddly. Please explain or reword that bit for me.
He has had no formal training in combat, although has adopted moves that counter Drasign combat tactics. He refers to his awkward fighting style as Dresell's Bane. It consist of Feints, quick attacks, and usage of his entire body to knock a Dresall off balance or injure him. Although he usually prefers sneak attacks against them.
This part here fits better in the strengths, in my opinion. Please move it there. It elaborates one of his strengths nicely, aside from maybe one bit.
Keep in mind that Skeld are small folk, compared to the dresell (or most other races, for that matter). The fighting technique should perhaps use more dodging rather than direct attacks (I’m just referring to the “using his entire body to knock over a foe” bit. It doesn’t seem all to practical.).
Although the village had one similar to a Sharzak village.
I strongly suggest you expand upon this a bit more. In what ways is the village similar to a Sharzak one? Just a suggestion there.
Drasign, Skeld Slave Tongue, and fragments of other langauges, although he has no idea what the words mean, he has assigned them other meanings. Such as "house" in Sharzak could mean something like "door" to him
Stay realistic here. If he lived his whole life in this secluded village deep underground, hiding from Drasign patrols and whatnot, its highly unlikely he would have learned anything other than Drasign and the Slave language. I know the reasons behind those two, but I don’t know how he managed to learn bits of those other languages.
I know its tempting to say that a character knows an unknown amount of languages and later adapt that number to circumstances, but I’ll have to ask you to actually list the languages he knows. If you want him to mess with one of the existing languages by replacing meanings, that’s fine, though I strongly suggest you focus on just one language for that purpose.
Before the disappearance of his village, he had learned how to use the Mysteral as a sort of alarm system, which he now has at the entrance of the village and a few key locations elsewhere.
I’ll need more info on that ability of his. How does it work? What are the upsides? The downsides of using it?
For his size, Dy'Lan is fairly fit due to the hours of mining.
Much like the bit in the Personality, this one would be better off in Appearance. It explains his build better than it explains the fact he’s stronger than most Skeld are (which is what I assume you wanted to say). I strongly suggest leaving a reworded part here that explains the said strength better.
Outside of his tunnels, Dy'Lan is not as useful in a fight.
This could use some elaboration. I know that Dy’Lan loses his tactical advantage outside of the tunnels, and that sunlight might further hinder him and so on and so forth; but the other players wont know it unless you write it in your sheet. <3
Actually, all of the weaknesses could use some explaining, but this one (and perhaps one other)in particular struck me as too vague. I strongly suggest you expand on all of the weaknesses, such as how his obsessiveness is displayed, or his inability to socialize. Does he get twitchy? Or starts to stammer? Things like that.
Although, due to his superior Night Vision, His eyesight in bright areas leaves much to be desired.
Does he suffer any severe consequences from bright areas? Like headaches or temporary blindness?
Dy’Lan is 3’ something tall (I'm assuming). Wielding a weapon that is about two thirds of his size doesn’t seem like too good an idea to me. His strong points are stealth and speed, and giving him such a cumbersome weapon would be like giving a stealthy assassin a claymore to attack with. It doesn’t seem practical. I strongly suggest you give him a smaller cleaver.
Perhaps the fact he doesn’t remember anything needs more elaboration. He obviously remembers something, otherwise he would have little reason to hate the Drasign/Dresell. Unless he had bad encounters with them after the big tragedy, in which case my bad.
As for the reason he was left behind… The classic one I could think of would be that the attackers mistook him for a corpse, for example.
Lastly, if you’ve decided upon Dy’Lan having a Rah companion, I strongly suggest you at least mention him somewhere.